Sunday, 30 Mar 2008

“Is this all there is for me - an anonymous virgin bleeding to death on the floor - this can’t be it - can it?”

Elfen Lied, Vector 3.

Thursday, 20 Mar 2008

sometimes, especially in the early morning or late evenings (or as I like to call it “That time of the day when I am not sitting in a cube in front of a computer monitor”) I see things out of the corner my eyes that are gone when I look at them again.

often what I see is a shadow or a movement that flits too quickly through my peripheral vision for me to identify with any degree of certainty.

so, what are my options? I assume it’s either not enough sleep, I am going crazy and starting to hallucinate things, or I am drifting out of phase with what we call reality so am starting to be able to see into that other dimension/world/universe/reality, whatever. I opt for the phase explanation, it’s more fun AND way more interesting.

So now that I have identified the CAUSE I want to figure out which reality I am starting to see. Is it an alternate human reality, a mirrorworld somehow different than this one? Is it a completely alien world? A world of faerie? The possibilities are endless. I just hope it’s not that alternate universe full of IRS auditors I dreamt of once.

I’ll keep you posted.

Thursday, 20 Mar 2008

Due to misplacing my bank card and not having as easy access to my barely existant funds I had the $10 in wallet dream again the other night.

Lots of animals out in the early mornings the past week+, guess they didn’t hear that spring didn’t start until THIS morning.

2nd day in a row I’ve been _late_ to early job. Slept through alarms AND phone call. The New England pseudopod representatives of the Texas Borg Newspaper Company I work for are not happy. Neither am I. I don’t really enjoy getting up at 3:30AM 7 days a week, 365 days a year. No wait, 366 days - this IS a leap year. It’s annoying enough to have to do two jobs, really frustrating when I don’t feel like I am doing either one particularly well. Ok, maybe that’s not fair, the parts I do I do reasonably well, despite my frequent unreasonable whining I actually get very few complaints from paper route customers, and the things I do in my day job I do reasonably well. It’s just I am tired all the time so often I get to both jobs late and don’t have the energy to go to infinity and beyond. I am after all, just a battery operated toy.

I realized anew the other day that stories about delivering newspapers are really boring. Seriously, even to people who deliver newspapers themselves there’s very little interesting that can happen while delivering papers. I mean if I were delivering pizzas I am sure I would have lots of great stories about that time I tipped off Homeland Security after discovering that my regular Wednesday night delivery of garlic bread and anchovie pizza was to a jihadist cell with a stockpile of weapons in their apartment (THAT will teach them not to tip!), or all the times that hot babes invited me in to party with them in their cocaine filled clothing very optional hot tub(Now THAT’s a tip!). But delivering newspapers at 4AM? Not so much opportunity for adventure. Basically you could mad-lib the whole thing quite easily. Every story involves either:

a) The paper ending up in a place it’s not supposed to end up in.

ex:

person_1: “One time I was delivering papers and threw this one paper right onto the customer’s roof!”

person_2: “You think THAT’s bad, One time it was really windy and I threw this customer’s paper towards their front porch and it ended going up to the roof where it fell into the chimney and started the house on fire. I took off and when I went back the next day the WHOLE HOUSE HAD BURNED TO THE GROUND!!! ”

person_1: “OMG, Didn’t you call 911 or anything?”

person_2: Hell no they never even tip me. Maybe next time they get a christmas card from me they’ll remember their burnt down house and they will think long and hard before not tipping me.”)

That’s what I WISH the stories were like, in reality i’s more like “This one customer wants their paper in their driveway but hates it and complains if it lands under their car, well one day I was in a hurry and accidently threw it under their car!  THAT will teach them not to tip!”)

b) seeing something slightly out of the ordinary.

ex.

person1_ “Once I was delivering to this house that’s down this long driveway in the woods and I saw this light up above the house… well when I got close I could see it was from a UFO, man I tossed that paper and high-tailed it out of there.”

person2_ “Did you call the police or anything?”

person1_ “Hell no, they never tip me for driving all the way down that stupid f-ing driveway every morning, why should I do anything for them? Maybe that will teach them to tip better.”

Of course the reality is more like:

“One morning I was delivering papers and threw the customer’s paper towards their front stairs where their cat was sitting. As I watched it I realized the cat was a SKUNK! OMG I JUST MISSED HITTING A SKUNK WITH A NEWSPAPER!!”

3) Complaining about how unreasonable some customer’s complaint is.

Monday, 10 Mar 2008

you know all those online quizes and tests that tell you things like “Will I marry Johnny Depp when I grow up?” or “Which TellyTubby is most likely to be my soulmate?” well I hate those. I really do. But today I finally found one which makes sense to me. You just enter your birthdate and your name and it comes up with a personalized data ‘reading’.

Here is mine:

Your secret name is wireless Ethernet.
The animal which symbolizes you is shagpile.
The color of your soul is Bok Choy.
The celebrity you most resemble is kudu.
Your special pain or illness is pinapple red.
Your most important time of day is Chuck Norris.
The shape of your life is cannibalism.
And the flavor which identifies you most is 25:91

Monday, 10 Mar 2008

…not too hard to figure out what’s on my mind on a week I am so strapped for cash with no reserves left that I am looking through the proverbial couch cushions to find enough change to afford public transportation to/from my class that week when I wake up twice in one night dreaming that I found a $10 bill in my wallet.  Such a humble dream. Some people dream of winning the lottery, I dream of finding $10. Sometimes I think I should dream bigger, but it’s all a matter of perspective I guess. When you have a lot, a lot doesn’t look as big as when you only have a little. When you have nothing, then anything looks really big in comparison.